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Supporting a Friend Who is Grieving

November 17, 2023

Check in to see what your friend is missing and where they need help.

Invest time. That’s the best way to understand where your friend really needs help. It’s hard for a person muddling through grief to come up with an answer to the well-intentioned question, “What can I do to help?” However, if you are regularly in touch and listen, you will most likely get an idea of where you might be able to lend a hand.

Ask questions like, “What if I did _____? Would that help?” A question that presents an idea and then puts forward the ask may lead to better results than a question like, “What can I do to help?” Asking, “How can I help?” requires the mourner to come up with an action. “What can I do to help?” seems logical and straightforward on the face of it, but when someone is struggling and overwhelmed, it can be really hard to figure out what would be helpful. So, you often hear an answer like, “Oh, I’m ok.”

Stay in close contact. Your grieving friend is more likely to talk to you casually about how their days are going. You’ll hear where they are struggling or avoiding doing something that is just too difficult to tackle alone. Look for ways to share time with your friend, and let what they need just bubble to the surface naturally. 

Find ways to spend time together, even doing everyday tasks. Share a walk or another form of exercise you both enjoy. Work together on a hobby or interest you share. Take your friend out for coffee. Invite your friend over for lunch or dinner. Take them out to breakfast after church. Whatever it takes; just stay in touch. They’ll appreciate the company.

When you find a way to help, remember that you will need to help their way, not yours, even if you have experience with the task at hand. Pause and ask what is desired in order to be sure you understand what your friend wishes to accomplish. If their ask is unclear or seems like it is going in the wrong direction to you, be thoughtful in how you attempt a course correct.

Ask questions instead of telling. Be gentle. Let go of your way and do the task as they wish, even if it seems to you that your method would be easier. For those who are grieving, logic and simplicity may be out of reach. Once a grieving person has settled on a path, even if it is winding, it may be better to just go along unless the course they have settled on is truly unsound.

www.vittstermeranderson.com

Vitt, Stermer & Anderson Funeral & Cremation Services has been serving the families of Cincinnati with respect and professionalism since 1899. They provide quality funeral, burial, cremation and memorial services as well as special services for veterans from their locations in Delhi and Cheviot. They also provide options to pre-plan and pre-pay for your final wishes in advance. Learn more at www.vittstermeranderson.com.

Can Catholics Be Cremated and What To Do with the Cremains?

January 23, 2025
Final disposition is a personal choice. For many, their choice is guided by their religion, with many faiths having rules and restrictions about the proper way to spend forever. For many years, final disposition meant burial for Catholics, but what’s allowed today? Can Catholics be cremated? And, if so, are there rules on how to handle a cremated loved one?

I Want to be Cremated but my Spouse Does Not. Can we Still be Buried Together?

January 23, 2025
Choosing to spend eternity together is a beautiful way to show that the love between you and your partner does not end with your passing. When you pick out a burial plot in a cemetery, you’re deciding on a space where you can continue to be in one another’s company after your time together in this world has passed.

Finding the Right Words: Comforting Tips for Funeral Attendees

January 23, 2025
Finding the right words to express your feelings during such a deeply emotional time can feel daunting, and there is often a fear of saying something that might inadvertently cause more pain. We want to reassure you that your efforts to convey sympathy and your decision to be present are already profoundly supportive. In this guide, we'll provide you with straightforward advice to help alleviate some of this anxiety, ensuring that your words are both comforting and appropriate.

What are the Catholic Burial Rites?

January 8, 2025
When we say goodbye to the people we love, we often have certain traditions. Some of these traditions come from our families, but for many people, the faith they had in life informs the way their spirits are given a final farewell. When it comes to the Catholic faith, the Church offers a purposeful way to say goodbye, one that strengthens their bond with God and the community’s faith in Christ. This tradition is called the Catholic funeral rites or the Catholic burial rites, which contain three vital parts.

Death Care in America – The Birth of the Funeral Profession

January 8, 2025
Today, our options have multiplied. We can choose to be embalmed, cremated, or buried. We can choose to have a faith-based service or a secular celebration of life. We can choose to have an almost immediate burial, or we can wait for a more convenient time. We can even choose to have a home-based funeral service. Regardless of how we decide to say good-bye to our loved ones, we have access to the guidance of caring professionals: our local funeral directors, who operate under the guidelines and legal requirements of the state in which we reside.

Dressing for a Funeral: Comfort, Respect, and What to Wear

January 7, 2025
Attending a funeral is one of those things that makes everyone pause, not just because of the emotional weight, but also the big question: "What do I wear?" Let’s discuss.

Embracing Family in Funeral Planning

January 7, 2025
When it comes time to say goodbye to a loved one, the focus of the funeral often naturally falls on the family. It's the people who loved and knew the deceased best—spouses, children, grandchildren, friends, and even coworkers—who come together to remember and honor their life. After all, a funeral serves primarily those who survive; it is a rite that helps us shift our focus from the circumstances of death to celebrating the life that was lived.

What’s the Difference Between Entombment and Interment

December 20, 2024
There’s a lot to consider when looking for either your or your loved one’s final resting place, to the point that it can be easy to get overwhelmed. The decision only becomes more complicated when you’re met with unfamiliar vernacular. One choice you may have to make is between entombment or interment. But what exactly do those terms mean? And what’s the difference between interment and entombment?

What is a Retort? Is it the Same as a Crematory?

November 20, 2024
The world of funeral homes can be filled with unfamiliar terminology, and keeping track of it all gets confusing. Talking about cremation is no exception. So, what does it mean when someone says that they’re going to a crematory? What about a retort? Are those the same thing? Let’s break down the difference between these locations that are crucial to the cremation process.

When Should I Start Thinking About Planning My Own Funeral?

November 20, 2024
Not everyone preplans their funeral, but doing so is a gift to your loved ones. By doing so, you’re allowing your family to grieve in peace without having to worry about the hundreds of decisions that accompany the funeral-planning process. You’re also giving your family peace of mind by telling them your wishes for your funeral and final disposition. Since they know what you would have wanted, they won’t have to worry about whether or not they’re making the right choices.
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