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What Happens at a Visitation?

October 19, 2024

Human beings are social. We crave the company of others. During times of stress our friends comfort us, they listen to us, and share our troubles. When someone we love dies, we need our people.


Many faith communities, both ancient and modern, understand this need. They have, as a part of their death care ritual, a time for the bereaved to receive friends. This may take place before a funeral service, or in some religions the time for the bereaved to mingle with friends takes place after the funeral service and burial.


Dr Alan D Wolfelt describes a mourning ritual as a “symbolic activity that helps us, together with our families and friends, express our deepest thoughts and feelings about life’s most important events.” In Jewish tradition, the family “sits shiva” for seven days following the service and burial. Irish Catholics gather for a “wake.”

Visitation is a mourning ritual.


A Visitation is the less formal part of a funeral. It often takes place the evening or morning before the more structured part of the funeral service. The Visitation provides the opportunity for friends of the bereaved family to offer condolences, hugs, and express their love and respect for the person who died.


It is also a time for people who knew the person who died but perhaps are not known to the family to express their feelings to the family. This opportunity to feel the embrace and hear the words of people who knew the one we loved is a very powerful, sometimes overlooked, and often most healing part of the funeral ritual.


When a daughter or husband meets someone outside of the family who knew their mother as a co-worker or mentor or teacher and hears how the mother they loved impacted this other life, it has deep meaning. For many it is the most powerful, most comforting, aspect of the funeral ritual.


Each part of the funeral - the religious traditions, the eulogy, the celebration of the life, the burial or cremation and the visitation - has a purpose. If you are planning a funeral for a loved one, speak with your funeral director about all of the parts of the mourning ritual.


If you are attending a visitation, prepare before you go. Think about the person who died. How did you know them? Did they teach you? Did they help you? Did they comfort you? Did they make you laugh? Did they make your day better? When you attend the visitation, be sure to make the effort to introduce yourself to family members and share how you knew their loved one and how he or she made you feel, made you better, or made you laugh.




www.vittstermeranderson.com

February 24, 2025
Planning a funeral is undoubtedly one of the most challenging experiences anyone can go through. It's a time filled with sorrow and an overwhelming list of decisions to make—ranging from selecting the final resting place to choosing the music, food, and flowers. In these moments, you might find yourself caught between a racing mind and an inability to move forward, feeling unprepared yet burdened by the looming responsibilities.
February 24, 2025
Can you have a “do it yourself funeral” is a question one cannot answer for oneself. For obvious reasons … you simply cannot … you as a deceased person will not be able to undertake any of the actions required to carry off the task. If one is thinking along this line … wishing for a home-based funeral for themselves … one needs to ask their family, can you have a home-based funeral… for me? Do you feel up to the task?
February 24, 2025
Being buried or cremated is just a personal choice. A choice that a person makes based on what they believe and what they hope will bring comfort to their family. The important thing that we need to cling to is a reverence for life. A life ending leaves a hole or at least a dent in the lives of those left behind. Those who knew and loved the person who died. There are tears, laughter, and memories to share. Whether we bury or cremate, whichever is chosen, we all must find a way to acknowledge the loss of a life. That is what makes us human … we live, we love, we care, we grieve.
January 23, 2025
Final disposition is a personal choice. For many, their choice is guided by their religion, with many faiths having rules and restrictions about the proper way to spend forever. For many years, final disposition meant burial for Catholics, but what’s allowed today? Can Catholics be cremated? And, if so, are there rules on how to handle a cremated loved one?
January 23, 2025
Choosing to spend eternity together is a beautiful way to show that the love between you and your partner does not end with your passing. When you pick out a burial plot in a cemetery, you’re deciding on a space where you can continue to be in one another’s company after your time together in this world has passed.
January 23, 2025
Finding the right words to express your feelings during such a deeply emotional time can feel daunting, and there is often a fear of saying something that might inadvertently cause more pain. We want to reassure you that your efforts to convey sympathy and your decision to be present are already profoundly supportive. In this guide, we'll provide you with straightforward advice to help alleviate some of this anxiety, ensuring that your words are both comforting and appropriate.
January 8, 2025
When we say goodbye to the people we love, we often have certain traditions. Some of these traditions come from our families, but for many people, the faith they had in life informs the way their spirits are given a final farewell. When it comes to the Catholic faith, the Church offers a purposeful way to say goodbye, one that strengthens their bond with God and the community’s faith in Christ. This tradition is called the Catholic funeral rites or the Catholic burial rites, which contain three vital parts.
January 8, 2025
Today, our options have multiplied. We can choose to be embalmed, cremated, or buried. We can choose to have a faith-based service or a secular celebration of life. We can choose to have an almost immediate burial, or we can wait for a more convenient time. We can even choose to have a home-based funeral service. Regardless of how we decide to say good-bye to our loved ones, we have access to the guidance of caring professionals: our local funeral directors, who operate under the guidelines and legal requirements of the state in which we reside.
January 7, 2025
Attending a funeral is one of those things that makes everyone pause, not just because of the emotional weight, but also the big question: "What do I wear?" Let’s discuss.
January 7, 2025
When it comes time to say goodbye to a loved one, the focus of the funeral often naturally falls on the family. It's the people who loved and knew the deceased best—spouses, children, grandchildren, friends, and even coworkers—who come together to remember and honor their life. After all, a funeral serves primarily those who survive; it is a rite that helps us shift our focus from the circumstances of death to celebrating the life that was lived.
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