Where are you now? Three to six months after the death of a spouse

February 21, 2020

Grief is individual. Everyone experiences the sorrow over the loss of a loved one in their own way and at their own pace. That said there is enough common ground for scientists, behaviorists and psychologists to describe steps or stages of grief. These scales for grief are useful. It can be helpful to see your feelings mirrored in the process and it is good to see that progress is to be expected. In his book, Grief counseling and grief therapy, William Worden takes a little different approach. He describes four tasks the mourner must accomplish. 1. Accept the reality of the loss 2. Work through the grief and pain 3. Adjust to a new environment 4. Find an enduring connection with the deceased while moving on with life The task of accepting the reality of the loss usually takes place in the first weeks and months after the death. This is a busy time. There are many things to do. The busy work of filing papers and getting affairs in order can distract a person to the point that they don’t feel the loss delaying task number two. Working through the grief and pain. At some point it is necessary to slow down and allow yourself to feel the pain. As Mr. Worden tells us “the prescription for grief is to grieve. In my experience I have seen that despite best efforts, there is no way to “get around” grief; we have to be willing to go through it in order to get to the other side.” Sometime around that three to six-month time frame it will be time to begin the work needed to accomplish task number three, Adjust to a new environment. This task requires much and takes time. It can mean learning how to live alone. Learning how to pay your bills, cook your food, or care for your car. It can mean learning how to ask for and accept help. For some this may be the hardest part. However, just as grief can’t be skipped or glossed over, adjusting to life without a person’s loved one must be done by the mourner. No one can do it for them. Others can help but if one is to go on with life and experience all the joy of the future it is necessary to engage in this task.

Vitt, Stermer & Anderson Funeral & Cremation Services has been serving the families of Cincinnati with respect and professionalism since 1899. They provide quality funeral, burial, cremation and memorial services as well as special services for veterans from their locations in Delhi and Cheviot. They also provide options to pre-plan and pre-pay for your final wishes in advance. Learn more at www.vittstermeranderson.com.

Coming Together in Grief: Planning a Funeral with Family

February 24, 2025
Planning a funeral is undoubtedly one of the most challenging experiences anyone can go through. It's a time filled with sorrow and an overwhelming list of decisions to make—ranging from selecting the final resting place to choosing the music, food, and flowers. In these moments, you might find yourself caught between a racing mind and an inability to move forward, feeling unprepared yet burdened by the looming responsibilities.

Funerals in America – Can you still “do it yourself?”

February 24, 2025
Can you have a “do it yourself funeral” is a question one cannot answer for oneself. For obvious reasons … you simply cannot … you as a deceased person will not be able to undertake any of the actions required to carry off the task. If one is thinking along this line … wishing for a home-based funeral for themselves … one needs to ask their family, can you have a home-based funeral… for me? Do you feel up to the task?

Death Care in America … When did Americans begin to Cremate?

February 24, 2025
Being buried or cremated is just a personal choice. A choice that a person makes based on what they believe and what they hope will bring comfort to their family. The important thing that we need to cling to is a reverence for life. A life ending leaves a hole or at least a dent in the lives of those left behind. Those who knew and loved the person who died. There are tears, laughter, and memories to share. Whether we bury or cremate, whichever is chosen, we all must find a way to acknowledge the loss of a life. That is what makes us human … we live, we love, we care, we grieve.

Can Catholics Be Cremated and What To Do with the Cremains?

January 23, 2025
Final disposition is a personal choice. For many, their choice is guided by their religion, with many faiths having rules and restrictions about the proper way to spend forever. For many years, final disposition meant burial for Catholics, but what’s allowed today? Can Catholics be cremated? And, if so, are there rules on how to handle a cremated loved one?

I Want to be Cremated but my Spouse Does Not. Can we Still be Buried Together?

January 23, 2025
Choosing to spend eternity together is a beautiful way to show that the love between you and your partner does not end with your passing. When you pick out a burial plot in a cemetery, you’re deciding on a space where you can continue to be in one another’s company after your time together in this world has passed.

Finding the Right Words: Comforting Tips for Funeral Attendees

January 23, 2025
Finding the right words to express your feelings during such a deeply emotional time can feel daunting, and there is often a fear of saying something that might inadvertently cause more pain. We want to reassure you that your efforts to convey sympathy and your decision to be present are already profoundly supportive. In this guide, we'll provide you with straightforward advice to help alleviate some of this anxiety, ensuring that your words are both comforting and appropriate.

What are the Catholic Burial Rites?

January 8, 2025
When we say goodbye to the people we love, we often have certain traditions. Some of these traditions come from our families, but for many people, the faith they had in life informs the way their spirits are given a final farewell. When it comes to the Catholic faith, the Church offers a purposeful way to say goodbye, one that strengthens their bond with God and the community’s faith in Christ. This tradition is called the Catholic funeral rites or the Catholic burial rites, which contain three vital parts.

Death Care in America – The Birth of the Funeral Profession

January 8, 2025
Today, our options have multiplied. We can choose to be embalmed, cremated, or buried. We can choose to have a faith-based service or a secular celebration of life. We can choose to have an almost immediate burial, or we can wait for a more convenient time. We can even choose to have a home-based funeral service. Regardless of how we decide to say good-bye to our loved ones, we have access to the guidance of caring professionals: our local funeral directors, who operate under the guidelines and legal requirements of the state in which we reside.

Dressing for a Funeral: Comfort, Respect, and What to Wear

January 7, 2025
Attending a funeral is one of those things that makes everyone pause, not just because of the emotional weight, but also the big question: "What do I wear?" Let’s discuss.

Embracing Family in Funeral Planning

January 7, 2025
When it comes time to say goodbye to a loved one, the focus of the funeral often naturally falls on the family. It's the people who loved and knew the deceased best—spouses, children, grandchildren, friends, and even coworkers—who come together to remember and honor their life. After all, a funeral serves primarily those who survive; it is a rite that helps us shift our focus from the circumstances of death to celebrating the life that was lived.
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